A Cow Crapped on Me

 Monday, February 1, 2016

Recently my wheelchair-bound dementia husband called to me.  "What's wrong," I asked.

He said, "A cow crapped on me!"  (As his vocabulary deteriorates, his favorite word is "crap" or a form thereof.)

I had to ask him several times to repeat himself, because he has speech difficulties and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"A cow crapped on me!  Get me out of here and clean it off!"

I couldn't help but smile and laugh.  I said, "Sweetie, you're dreaming."  

It took some convincing, but finally he realized he wasn't in a barnyard or pasture.  He started smiling, although he was still agitated.  We had spent more than our fair share of time living on farms, wading through and shoveling s--t, and getting whacked by cows' tails covered in liquified manure.  

After he calmed down, I asked what happened.  He said was on the ground and a cow was standing over his back, crapping on him.  He said he could feel it, smell it, and see the texture and color.  He was amazed at how real it all was.  

These days he is often confused about what is a dream and what is real.  Even when he is having a hallucination, it's easier on him to tell him that he is dreaming.